Seething Towards Failure

Seething Towards Failure

Commentary by: Earle G. Airey III

Anger is typically thought of as a negative emotion and thus should be avoided. True, anger left unchecked can have disastrous consequences and can sneak up on us in ways many realize only after the fact.

A light bulb burns out. You don’t have a fit about it, just replace the bulb. Thunder and lightning are breaking your concentration as you try to write a report. You eventually tune it out and keep on working. A tree limb falls in the road and you have to detour. You don’t like it, but it’s no big deal. Right?

How about that pickup truck weaving through traffic? What a jerk. How about that your car repair that was supposed to be done by end of day, now they have to keep it overnight? How about the boss that makes you work on the weekend at the last minute? Now how do you feel?

Most of the time we can forgive a burned out bulb, thunder and lightning, a fallen tree limb because these things happen. They couldn’t be helped. So we deal with it and move on. But how about when there is an identifiable human being behind the issues. People may get angry, their body language changes, choice of words may not be so choice, and most of all they can seethe. To seethe is to bubble up as a result of being boiled. As one’s anger rises we may associate this with temperature, which is usually hot.

Why do people seethe? Many studies by researchers in cognitive neurosciences suggest that within our brain are mirror neurons. These neurons are ultra-sensitive to the point where they may be processing stimuli that the person may not be consciously aware of. The thought is that these neurons are important in aiding humans understanding one another, learning by example and is completely bi-directional. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mirror_neuron for additional thoughts.

So again, why do people seethe? From my experience I have witnessed people’s actions and reactions that were based on their comfort level with a particular situation. When there is a doubt of one person’s power over another they typically react appropriately. The one who feels their position is weaker using a particular medium (such as physical engagement, verbal arguing, etc.) they may switch to one that is of greater comfort. I suggest that deep in the human subconscious mind there is an autonomous response to threats similar to the “fight or flight” syndrome that can apply to these mirror neurons. So one may not be able to best their opponent in a physical or verbal altercation, but they can seethe them back to the Stone Age (check out the song “If Looks Could Kill” by Heart). Similar to a fistfight, seething rarely resolves the situation and can begin a downward spiral towards eventual failure.

Currently I’m doing research into how external and internal stimuli affect brain chemistry. My preliminary findings have revealed that various stimuli evoke a release of chemicals into the brain that has a similar effect to narcotics. So does seething help produce these chemicals? If the answer is yes, then can people become addicted to seething (or any strong emotion)? Other researchers suggest it is possible.

When growing up parents, teachers, and other adults told me that the best way to quit using drugs is to never start. Now there is no way that people will never get angry, however I suggest that it is possible to turn anger into creative thought by…

1.     Being aware of one’s emotional state. Especially when getting angry.

2.     Concentrate on the actual elements that brought on the anger. What are their opposites?

3.     Would that action leave a more positive emotional potential state?

Would that outcome create a win-win or a win-lose (the latter would probably leave the other party seething)?

This is a deliberate exercise in moving from an emotional deficit state to a surplus state. When some people get angry they may disengage from the situation to “cool down.” However depending on the circumstances the problem that moved them into the seething state may still be there, threatening to plunge them back into that deficit state. I suggest that by reevaluating the circumstances from the perspective of “if I could go back in time and relive that moment, I would…” to seek a solution that can stop the emotional sacrifice of the situation…if it gets that deep.

This could be why when some people are upset they need to talk about it. They are not necessarily asking for help with a fix, they just need to think out loud. There is a therapeutic element to this and I suggest talking with someone whom you can trust to share the particulars of the situation with.

Hopefully this will help raise awareness of what I call “The Seething Syndrome” and keep it from taking up resident in our lives. When you notice the downward spiral of negative emotions (like seething), what are some of the ways you overcome such challenges?

Your input is greatly valued. Thanks for sharing.

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Education is no substitute for ambition

Education is no substitute for ambition, so what else you got?

Commentary By: Earle G. Airey III

I don’t remember where, but it stuck in my memory when I heard the statement, “Education is no substitute for ambition” it stuck in my mind. First I want to go on record to say that education is a powerful enabler and good schools are invaluable. They can stir imagination and foster creative thought. But in less that experience is put into action, a good education is no better than none at all.

I remember a former co-worker mentioning to another that they finished school and that act paid their dues and thus was entitled to the same elements as others who may have this in addition to years of practical experience. This perspective was not popular with the other co-workers. Whether or not there was entitlement to the items in question based on education, I have come to realize over the years that education, alone is not enough to guarantee a successful career. Before you educators beat me with erasers let me explain my perspective.

Now I am not attempting to define what makes successful career, however those who desire to promote themselves professionally I suggest that education should not substitute ambition. Ambition is one of those elements that can serve good and evil intentions. So I don’t fault ambition in of itself, but rather the misuse for self-serving purposes at the expense of others. Positive ambition is a virtue, not a vice.

Quality education is important. It builds up knowledge, which is the beginning of wisdom. However I suggest unless education is put into motion it is nearly useless. Those who may have feel like my former co-worker (that education alone is enough) may find himself or herself frustrated when trying to start or advance their careers. I remember during my graduate school commencement ceremony the keynote speaker shared, “You may have been a part of this fraternity, or that committee. You may have been class president or volunteered for some noble cause. However when you are sitting with a representative of the company you are interviewing with and he or she is going over your list of accomplishments they will ask…what else you got?” In no way do I believe that these extracurricular activities are a waste of time. There are even times when a waste of time has value. However one should seek out ways to put their education to work even while still acquiring it.

To what levels will ambition push someone? Will they stretch outside their comfort zone to make a point? To share with others? To show them what else you got? The nature of the Internet makes this easier than ever. This has encouraged me understand basic web building (not an area of my IT expertise), blogging, podcasting, and other elements that help me to answer the question, “What else I’ve got?” Giving the gift of your opinion, wisdom, honesty, and experiences costs no more than a personal computer with Internet connectivity. So whether you are in the midst of your collegiate or professional career I encourage use any of these elements (or ones you are comfortable with) that gets who you are out there.

There is no school that will teach you on how to be you. Sorry, but you’ll have to figure that one out for yourself. However I suggest that if the learning and subsequent sharing is done with transparency and intentions are honorable one can make a big difference in the community. Show the world what you are becoming or have become. Find ways to make a difference now. Show them what else you got.

Are the people upset? Were the basics covered?

Are the people upset? Were the basis covered?

Commentary by Earle G. Airey III, MSPOD

People are emotional beings in ways that some may not be entirely aware of. So many elements can affect the moods of people. This can shift their emotional resources in such a way that unexpected behaviors can result.

When I say “Are the people upset,” these can be your people, their people, people over there and so on. They can be customers, venders, employees, and stakeholders of various degrees. Naturally the closer these people are to the decision makers the more influence these makers have in shifting the peoples’ emotional resources whether they realize it or not. There many times I have seen so much emotional turmoil endured only to learn that if some basic elements were practiced on a regular basis human interactions would be much smoother and productive. Here are a few examples I have witnessed.

Was there transparency?

Now I am not saying that you have to display all your business for the world to see, however is information that would better inform other so they could in turn make better decisions shared openly?

Many people have a tendency to downplay or cover up mistakes. It is a natural part of our built in defense mechanism. The primal part of the human brain responsible for protection reacts automatically. Without discipline this part of the mind can cause big trouble. People make mistakes and hopefully learn from them. This can give the opportunity for others to learn without having to face the same trials (if subject matter is similar). People respect others more when they can admit they made a mistake.

Lack of transparency lends to the suggestion of something being covered up. This could be related to the aforementioned mistake, ethical dilemmas, nefarious causes, and so on. How many bad incidents were discovered and made worse because of a cover up? This begs the perspective, “If what was about to be done (or in process) was going to be on the cover of every news paper and website across the world, should it still be done?”

I believe transparency builds trust. Trust builds closeness necessary for a community to reach common goals and support of individuals striving for personal goals. This fosters teamwork, creative thinking, builds respect, and creates a natural environment to help others.

Was there any appreciation or encouragement?

Just to say good job once in a while (less than once a month in this example) has a tendency to sound hollow and something that is just a good idea for bosses to say once in a while. I have found that people in general like to feel appreciated. Even those who work thankless tasks may not necessarily look for recognition, but would like to know the work they do is appreciated. This can also act as natural encouragement to do more of the same.

Encouragement is especially important to help remove doubt, fear, and confusion. This triple threat is more than enough to strike anyone out (including whole organizations). These elements support a negative downward spiral of frustration that diminishes creative thought and logic, two elements needed to reverse the spirals direction. Discovering the areas that challenge others to the point of frustration creates opportunities for encouraging them and aids in reversing the downward spiral. This goes a long way in creating and maintaining resonant relationships.

Were their physical and safety needs met?

Drawing some from Maslow’s pyramid of needs suggests that most individuals are concerned to have their physical and safety needs met before applying the higher levels of the model. It is not possible, nor feasible for leaders and captains of industry to totally meet these needs for the individual except for areas that are under their control.

Example. I knew of a delivery company that was so cheap they only bought license plates for about two thirds of their fleet. These vehicle made deliveries and then returned for reloading to make more deliveries. It was determined that about one third of vehicles were being reloaded and any given time so the thought was, “why pay to license them?” Well first of all it is illegal not to. Second, drivers would sometimes forget to install a valid plate and drive off without one. And third, it showed that the company was more interested in saving a few bucks over the driver’s wellbeing in performing their job. There were other challenges with this, however I trust the point is clear, the drives felt threatened about paying for a ticket they didn’t deserve. That logic permeated many aspects of the company.

How about the workplace itself? Is it in good repair? Are the restrooms in decent order? How about cleanliness? Just because someone may have a disheveled desk does not mean they are okay with toilets that don’t flush right or electrical wiring hanging out the walls and/or ceilings. The physical environment impacts the psyche in numerous ways. In some facilities careful attention is paid to lighting, color, and environmental comfort. There are obvious difficulties in providing this depending on the nature of the work being done (like a coal mine, but it should be a clean and safe coal mine…as far as coal mines go), however it should be kept in mind what these issues can do in the promotion/demotion of feeling if their physical wellbeing is at risk. Most of us have seen those signs in restrooms of commercial establishments asking to inform an associate if the facility is in need of servicing. Now why do you think that is?

Do the people have the resources they need to meet desired objectives?

Early in my automotive career (in a former life) I worked in a facility where it was better if you had your own tools. Most auto technicians indeed have their own tools, however in this place it was not a deal breaker to work there. There were tools everywhere. It was a chore finding tools and when they were found, they were either broken, part of it MIA, or in use by others. I brought my own meager set of tools, but quickly starting building what I needed to do my job without this added frustration. Do the people have what is needed to adequately accomplish the desired task? Are clients given a clear path to obtain customer service? Is the proposed system including adequate representation from all departments for evaluation to get more holistic input, or just the management staff making all the decisions?

I am aware that there are challenges with the acquisition of adequate resources and wise distribution of them. Beyond this however, if people do not have the needed elements for success they can become defensive. They can become frustrated in their task (which can contribute to the downward spiral mentioned earlier) and fearful they will bear the blame for any failure encountered. If resources are not available or limited this can create another opportunity for encouragement. Letting people know that there are doing a great job with limited resources may relax them and help them feel safe from reprisal. This safe state can add to creative thinking and they just may come up with a solution that meets the resource challenge.

Final thoughts

It is probably obvious that I place a lot of value in people’s emotional states and resources. I have seen people (individually and collectively) affected by the bad negative stimuli (there is a good negative, like the kind that tell one to pull their money out of a bad investment or pull a finger away from a hot surface) to where logical and creative thought was elusive. In worse cases the end can be a mob mentality, at best another day of an undesired status quo.

Consequently from the opposite perspective I have witnessed what positive stimuli can accomplish. Safety promotes positive thinking and can promote improved health through managed stress. In some organizations this is the “secret” weapon of their success.

Those are just a few observations I have witnessed. What are some experiences or ideas do you have? Please share, thank you.

Treat others how you would want to be treated

Treating Others How You Would Want To Be Treated

By: Earle G. Airey III, MSPOD

I have mentioned in various postings dealing with the treatment of others from a standpoint of leadership. Many have shared that others should be treated the way they want to be treated. I suggest treating others like how we would want to be treated. What’s the difference?

Those who suggest treating others the way they want to be treated seem to believe that it is those individuals that know best how they want to be treated. I don’t agree nor disagree with this perspective. However from the prospective of leadership it is challenging finding enough time to know everyone to that level of granularity to treat everyone like how they want to be treated. Of course this depends of several factors such as number of employees, geographical nature of organization, face time, and so on. So if these elements prevent knowing how to specifically treat others how they want to be treated, then how does treating them how we want to be treated benefit them?

Well first off, to do this successfully we have to know how to properly treat others, which start by taking a good look at how we treat ourselves…or rather how we should treat ourselves. I draw my conclusions from who I believe to be the greatest servant leader of all…Jesus Christ. When He was asked what is the greatest commandment, His reply was to love God with all your heart, strength, and mind. Then He shared that the next greatest commandment was like the first, to love your neighbor as yourself. All the law and Prophets hang on these two commandments (Matthew 22:37-40).

Scripture goes on to teach that no one hates himself or herself. People may not like the circumstance in which they find themselves in or the life in which they are living. I would suggest that it is those elements that people dislike, not themselves (illnesses aside for now). So how does one love themselves so they can love their neighbors? The answer lies within the first commandment…love God.

What does it mean to love God? First of all, God has given us all free will so that we can either choose to love Him or not. So loving God is a choice. When the decision has been made to do this, it is out of that love the decision is made to follow the guidelines set forth to live the best life possible. Most people have heard of the Ten Commandments. It is from these elements that much of our legal system, laws and treatment of others are based on. So even from a secular perspective these elements are valued. While they are all worthy of review, there are a few I want to specifically share.

Remember the Sabbath Day to keep it holy (Exodus 20:8).

This was meant to be a day of rest, specifically to rest in the Lord. People are not meant to work seven days a week continuously. I can personally attest to that. For a period of about seven years I could count on one hand how many days I had off. I will not go into the reasons why, but it damaged me in ways I probably have yet to discover. I didn’t network, I lost opportunity to help others, I was too tired to do mostly anything, and relationships were negatively impacted.

As organizational leaders we can’t expect (and maybe not even allow if possible) our members to become so absorbed into work that it consumes their lives. This does not allow for downtime to rest, explore personal growth, spend quality (emphasis on quality) time with loved ones, or invest time in spiritual pursuit of their faith. People who do not have enough downtime can experience diminished creativity and learning, be at risk for higher stress levels (which has all sorts of health consequences), social isolation challenges, depression, and more.

Many of us make trade offs. Some may work harder to relax later. It is possible to get caught up in the work that time to relax is forgotten. This is typically not premeditated, but it can sneak up and become an undesired norm. Everyone deserves a period of rest…period. To take advantage of this is to care about one’s self. Why? Because it is natural to care about self. Not in an unhealthy, narcissistic way but rather in a matter of that shows self-respect. We want to be treated with respect, and so do others.

You shall not murder (Exodus 20:13).

On the surface this seems fairly obvious. In the workplace on any given ordinary day nobody is trying to murder other (don’t read too far into that). However I suggest that there are more ways to murder than maliciously taking a life. Intentionally murdering the hopes, dreams, aspirations, goals and so on of another in many ways is murdering a piece of them. Death can come over an extended period of time and it is not always quick. As leaders can we support a culture that promotes life? We want to experience the best that life has to offer and that’s okay (as long as it is not at the expense of others). If we want a quality life, then I’m confident that others do too.

You shall not steal (Exodus 20:15).

Similar to murder (in concept), stealing is taking something that belongs to others. Many believe that good honest work is a cornerstone of our society. Many business owners dislike when employees waste excessive amounts of time that they are paying for in the form of salary. Extra time spent at the water cooler, engaging others on social networking sites, shopping, and other non-work associated actions are stealing time from the employer. Many can relate to the feeling of having something valued being taken away simply because someone else who didn’t earn it wanted it. If it were not desired to have certain elements taken from us, then we would not want to see that happen to others. Why? Because the wellbeing of those are potentially put at risk. Many victims of theft feel violated and vulnerable. Similarly in the workplace an employee can feel this way if they are not recognized for the work they do. They may feel robbed of fair compensation or potential opportunities stolen. The point is that if someone does not want to be a victim of theft then it is reasonable to conclude that others feel the same way.

You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor (Exodus 20:16).

False testimony is lying, plain and simple. People do not like being lied to. When lies are commonplace it is difficult to build trust. Without trust there is no closeness or friendship. Without those elements it might as well be a free for all of back stabbing and throwing each other under the bus. Scripture mentions that the tongue is like a two-edged sword with the ability to cut to the left and to the right. During battles of ancient times, dual bladed daggers and swords were deadlier as the combatant did not have to flip their hand around on a return stroke. Like words out of the mouth they have the ability to cut others down just as effectively. We do not like to be lied to so it is reasonable that other do not like to be lied to either.

Conclusion

I only shared four out of the Ten Commandments from the Book of Exodus. Further investigation will show and addition 613 laws given to humanity (laws humanity could not fully keep, thus showing the need for a savior). To love God would be to try our best to please Him by following the guideline He set forth so that we could experience a good life. This does not mean that we won’t stumble from time to time. The overall desire is to strive for obedience not out of fear of punishment or lost of privilege but out of love for Him because He first loved humanity, similar as how children loves and are loved by their parents.

Even those who may not believe in the existence of a divine creator or higher power will find appeal in these elements. Think about what society would look like without them. Many well-wishers believe in that “Do unto others as they would do unto you” philosophy. Some believe in karma or pre-destination and look from the perspective that people get out of life what they put into it. The conclusion appears to be unified in that individuals desire to be treated with respect, dignity, life, safety, love and truth. So from that perspective would it not be safe to conclude that others desire the same? I have failed to find a single individual that did not want these things. This is why people ask, “Why would you rather treat others how you want to be treated versus than how they want to be treated?” Now you know.

How do you feel? What conclusions have you drawn?