Treating Others How You Would Want To Be Treated
By: Earle G. Airey III, MSPOD
I have mentioned in various postings dealing with the
treatment of others from a standpoint of leadership. Many have shared that
others should be treated the way they want to be treated. I suggest treating
others like how we would want to be treated. What’s the difference?
Those who suggest treating others the way they want to be
treated seem to believe that it is those individuals that know best how they
want to be treated. I don’t agree nor disagree with this perspective. However
from the prospective of leadership it is challenging finding enough time to
know everyone to that level of granularity to treat everyone like how they want
to be treated. Of course this depends of several factors such as number of
employees, geographical nature of organization, face time, and so on. So if
these elements prevent knowing how to specifically treat others how they want
to be treated, then how does treating them how we want to be treated benefit
them?
Well first off, to do this successfully we have to know how
to properly treat others, which start by taking a good look at how we treat
ourselves…or rather how we should treat ourselves. I draw my conclusions from
who I believe to be the greatest servant leader of all…Jesus Christ. When He
was asked what is the greatest commandment, His reply was to love God with all
your heart, strength, and mind. Then He shared that the next greatest
commandment was like the first, to love your neighbor as yourself. All the law and Prophets hang on these two commandments (Matthew 22:37-40).
Scripture goes on to teach that no one hates himself or
herself. People may not like the circumstance in which they find themselves in
or the life in which they are living. I would suggest that it is those elements
that people dislike, not themselves (illnesses aside for now). So how does
one love themselves so they can love their neighbors? The answer lies within
the first commandment…love God.
What does it mean to love God? First of all, God has given
us all free will so that we can either choose to love Him or not. So loving God
is a choice. When the decision has been made to do this, it is out of that love
the decision is made to follow the guidelines set forth to live the best life
possible. Most people have heard of the Ten Commandments. It is from these
elements that much of our legal system, laws and treatment of others are based
on. So even from a secular perspective these elements are valued. While they
are all worthy of review, there are a few I want to specifically share.
Remember the Sabbath Day to keep it holy (Exodus 20:8).
This was meant to be a day of rest, specifically to rest in
the Lord. People are not meant to work seven days a week continuously. I can
personally attest to that. For a period of about seven years I could count on
one hand how many days I had off. I will not go into the reasons why, but it
damaged me in ways I probably have yet to discover. I didn’t network, I lost
opportunity to help others, I was too tired to do mostly anything, and
relationships were negatively impacted.
As organizational leaders we can’t expect (and maybe not
even allow if possible) our members to become so absorbed into work that it
consumes their lives. This does not allow for downtime to rest, explore
personal growth, spend quality (emphasis on quality) time with loved ones, or
invest time in spiritual pursuit of their faith. People who do not have enough
downtime can experience diminished creativity and learning, be at risk for
higher stress levels (which has all sorts of health consequences), social
isolation challenges, depression, and more.
Many of us make trade offs. Some may work harder to relax
later. It is possible to get caught up in the work that time to relax is
forgotten. This is typically not premeditated, but it can sneak up and become
an undesired norm. Everyone deserves a period of rest…period. To take advantage
of this is to care about one’s self. Why? Because it is natural to care about
self. Not in an unhealthy, narcissistic way but rather in a matter of that
shows self-respect. We want to be treated with respect, and so do others.
You shall not murder (Exodus 20:13).
On the surface this seems fairly obvious. In the workplace
on any given ordinary day nobody is trying to murder other (don’t read too far
into that). However I suggest that there are more ways to murder than
maliciously taking a life. Intentionally murdering the hopes, dreams,
aspirations, goals and so on of another in many ways is murdering a piece of
them. Death can come over an extended period of time and it is not always
quick. As leaders can we support a culture that promotes life? We want to experience
the best that life has to offer and that’s okay (as long as it is not at the
expense of others). If we want a quality life, then I’m confident that others
do too.
You shall not steal (Exodus 20:15).
Similar to murder (in concept), stealing is taking something
that belongs to others. Many believe that good honest work is a cornerstone of
our society. Many business owners dislike when employees waste excessive
amounts of time that they are paying for in the form of salary. Extra time
spent at the water cooler, engaging others on social networking sites,
shopping, and other non-work associated actions are stealing time from the
employer. Many can relate to the feeling of having something valued being taken
away simply because someone else who didn’t earn it wanted it. If it were not
desired to have certain elements taken from us, then we would not want to see
that happen to others. Why? Because the wellbeing of those are potentially put
at risk. Many victims of theft feel violated and vulnerable. Similarly in the
workplace an employee can feel this way if they are not recognized for the work
they do. They may feel robbed of fair compensation or potential opportunities
stolen. The point is that if someone does not want to be a victim of theft then
it is reasonable to conclude that others feel the same way.
You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor
(Exodus 20:16).
False testimony is lying, plain and simple. People do not
like being lied to. When lies are commonplace it is difficult to build trust.
Without trust there is no closeness or friendship. Without those elements it
might as well be a free for all of back stabbing and throwing each other under
the bus. Scripture mentions that the tongue is like a two-edged sword with the
ability to cut to the left and to the right. During battles of ancient times,
dual bladed daggers and swords were deadlier as the combatant did not have to
flip their hand around on a return stroke. Like words out of the mouth they
have the ability to cut others down just as effectively. We do not like to be
lied to so it is reasonable that other do not like to be lied to either.
Conclusion
I only shared four out of the Ten Commandments from the Book
of Exodus. Further investigation will show and addition 613 laws given to
humanity (laws humanity could not fully keep, thus showing the need for a
savior). To love God would be to try our best to please Him by following the
guideline He set forth so that we could experience a good life. This does not
mean that we won’t stumble from time to time. The overall desire is to strive
for obedience not out of fear of punishment or lost of privilege but out of
love for Him because He first loved humanity, similar as how children loves and
are loved by their parents.
Even those who may not believe in the existence of a divine
creator or higher power will find appeal in these elements. Think about what
society would look like without them. Many well-wishers believe in that “Do
unto others as they would do unto you” philosophy. Some believe in karma or
pre-destination and look from the perspective that people get out of life what
they put into it. The conclusion appears to be unified in that individuals
desire to be treated with respect, dignity, life, safety, love and truth. So
from that perspective would it not be safe to conclude that others desire the
same? I have failed to find a single individual that did not want these things.
This is why people ask, “Why would you rather treat others how you want to be
treated versus than how they want to be treated?” Now you know.
How do you feel? What conclusions have you drawn?
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