Treat others how you would want to be treated

Treating Others How You Would Want To Be Treated

By: Earle G. Airey III, MSPOD

I have mentioned in various postings dealing with the treatment of others from a standpoint of leadership. Many have shared that others should be treated the way they want to be treated. I suggest treating others like how we would want to be treated. What’s the difference?

Those who suggest treating others the way they want to be treated seem to believe that it is those individuals that know best how they want to be treated. I don’t agree nor disagree with this perspective. However from the prospective of leadership it is challenging finding enough time to know everyone to that level of granularity to treat everyone like how they want to be treated. Of course this depends of several factors such as number of employees, geographical nature of organization, face time, and so on. So if these elements prevent knowing how to specifically treat others how they want to be treated, then how does treating them how we want to be treated benefit them?

Well first off, to do this successfully we have to know how to properly treat others, which start by taking a good look at how we treat ourselves…or rather how we should treat ourselves. I draw my conclusions from who I believe to be the greatest servant leader of all…Jesus Christ. When He was asked what is the greatest commandment, His reply was to love God with all your heart, strength, and mind. Then He shared that the next greatest commandment was like the first, to love your neighbor as yourself. All the law and Prophets hang on these two commandments (Matthew 22:37-40).

Scripture goes on to teach that no one hates himself or herself. People may not like the circumstance in which they find themselves in or the life in which they are living. I would suggest that it is those elements that people dislike, not themselves (illnesses aside for now). So how does one love themselves so they can love their neighbors? The answer lies within the first commandment…love God.

What does it mean to love God? First of all, God has given us all free will so that we can either choose to love Him or not. So loving God is a choice. When the decision has been made to do this, it is out of that love the decision is made to follow the guidelines set forth to live the best life possible. Most people have heard of the Ten Commandments. It is from these elements that much of our legal system, laws and treatment of others are based on. So even from a secular perspective these elements are valued. While they are all worthy of review, there are a few I want to specifically share.

Remember the Sabbath Day to keep it holy (Exodus 20:8).

This was meant to be a day of rest, specifically to rest in the Lord. People are not meant to work seven days a week continuously. I can personally attest to that. For a period of about seven years I could count on one hand how many days I had off. I will not go into the reasons why, but it damaged me in ways I probably have yet to discover. I didn’t network, I lost opportunity to help others, I was too tired to do mostly anything, and relationships were negatively impacted.

As organizational leaders we can’t expect (and maybe not even allow if possible) our members to become so absorbed into work that it consumes their lives. This does not allow for downtime to rest, explore personal growth, spend quality (emphasis on quality) time with loved ones, or invest time in spiritual pursuit of their faith. People who do not have enough downtime can experience diminished creativity and learning, be at risk for higher stress levels (which has all sorts of health consequences), social isolation challenges, depression, and more.

Many of us make trade offs. Some may work harder to relax later. It is possible to get caught up in the work that time to relax is forgotten. This is typically not premeditated, but it can sneak up and become an undesired norm. Everyone deserves a period of rest…period. To take advantage of this is to care about one’s self. Why? Because it is natural to care about self. Not in an unhealthy, narcissistic way but rather in a matter of that shows self-respect. We want to be treated with respect, and so do others.

You shall not murder (Exodus 20:13).

On the surface this seems fairly obvious. In the workplace on any given ordinary day nobody is trying to murder other (don’t read too far into that). However I suggest that there are more ways to murder than maliciously taking a life. Intentionally murdering the hopes, dreams, aspirations, goals and so on of another in many ways is murdering a piece of them. Death can come over an extended period of time and it is not always quick. As leaders can we support a culture that promotes life? We want to experience the best that life has to offer and that’s okay (as long as it is not at the expense of others). If we want a quality life, then I’m confident that others do too.

You shall not steal (Exodus 20:15).

Similar to murder (in concept), stealing is taking something that belongs to others. Many believe that good honest work is a cornerstone of our society. Many business owners dislike when employees waste excessive amounts of time that they are paying for in the form of salary. Extra time spent at the water cooler, engaging others on social networking sites, shopping, and other non-work associated actions are stealing time from the employer. Many can relate to the feeling of having something valued being taken away simply because someone else who didn’t earn it wanted it. If it were not desired to have certain elements taken from us, then we would not want to see that happen to others. Why? Because the wellbeing of those are potentially put at risk. Many victims of theft feel violated and vulnerable. Similarly in the workplace an employee can feel this way if they are not recognized for the work they do. They may feel robbed of fair compensation or potential opportunities stolen. The point is that if someone does not want to be a victim of theft then it is reasonable to conclude that others feel the same way.

You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor (Exodus 20:16).

False testimony is lying, plain and simple. People do not like being lied to. When lies are commonplace it is difficult to build trust. Without trust there is no closeness or friendship. Without those elements it might as well be a free for all of back stabbing and throwing each other under the bus. Scripture mentions that the tongue is like a two-edged sword with the ability to cut to the left and to the right. During battles of ancient times, dual bladed daggers and swords were deadlier as the combatant did not have to flip their hand around on a return stroke. Like words out of the mouth they have the ability to cut others down just as effectively. We do not like to be lied to so it is reasonable that other do not like to be lied to either.

Conclusion

I only shared four out of the Ten Commandments from the Book of Exodus. Further investigation will show and addition 613 laws given to humanity (laws humanity could not fully keep, thus showing the need for a savior). To love God would be to try our best to please Him by following the guideline He set forth so that we could experience a good life. This does not mean that we won’t stumble from time to time. The overall desire is to strive for obedience not out of fear of punishment or lost of privilege but out of love for Him because He first loved humanity, similar as how children loves and are loved by their parents.

Even those who may not believe in the existence of a divine creator or higher power will find appeal in these elements. Think about what society would look like without them. Many well-wishers believe in that “Do unto others as they would do unto you” philosophy. Some believe in karma or pre-destination and look from the perspective that people get out of life what they put into it. The conclusion appears to be unified in that individuals desire to be treated with respect, dignity, life, safety, love and truth. So from that perspective would it not be safe to conclude that others desire the same? I have failed to find a single individual that did not want these things. This is why people ask, “Why would you rather treat others how you want to be treated versus than how they want to be treated?” Now you know.

How do you feel? What conclusions have you drawn?