Seething Towards Failure
Commentary by: Earle G. Airey III
Anger is typically thought of as a negative emotion and
thus should be avoided. True, anger left unchecked can have disastrous
consequences and can sneak up on us in ways many realize only after the fact.
A light bulb burns out. You don’t have a fit about it,
just replace the bulb. Thunder and lightning are breaking your concentration as
you try to write a report. You eventually tune it out and keep on working. A
tree limb falls in the road and you have to detour. You don’t like it, but it’s
no big deal. Right?
How about that pickup truck weaving through traffic? What
a jerk. How about that your car repair that was supposed to be done by end of
day, now they have to keep it overnight? How about the boss that makes you work
on the weekend at the last minute? Now how do you feel?
Most of the time we can forgive a burned out bulb,
thunder and lightning, a fallen tree limb because these things happen. They
couldn’t be helped. So we deal with it and move on. But how about when there is
an identifiable human being behind the issues. People may get angry, their body
language changes, choice of words may not be so choice, and most of all they
can seethe. To seethe is to bubble up as a result of being boiled. As one’s
anger rises we may associate this with temperature, which is usually hot.
Why do people seethe? Many studies by researchers in
cognitive neurosciences suggest that within our brain are mirror neurons. These
neurons are ultra-sensitive to the point where they may be processing stimuli
that the person may not be consciously aware of. The thought is that these neurons
are important in aiding humans understanding one another, learning by example
and is completely bi-directional. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mirror_neuron
for additional thoughts.
So again, why do people seethe? From my experience I have
witnessed people’s actions and reactions that were based on their comfort level
with a particular situation. When there is a doubt of one person’s power over
another they typically react appropriately. The one who feels their position is
weaker using a particular medium (such as physical engagement, verbal arguing,
etc.) they may switch to one that is of greater comfort. I suggest that deep in
the human subconscious mind there is an autonomous response to threats similar
to the “fight or flight” syndrome that can apply to these mirror neurons. So
one may not be able to best their opponent in a physical or verbal altercation,
but they can seethe them back to the Stone Age (check out the song “If Looks
Could Kill” by Heart). Similar to a fistfight, seething rarely resolves the
situation and can begin a downward spiral towards eventual failure.
Currently I’m doing research into how external and
internal stimuli affect brain chemistry. My preliminary findings have revealed
that various stimuli evoke a release of chemicals into the brain that has a
similar effect to narcotics. So does seething help produce these chemicals? If
the answer is yes, then can people become addicted to seething (or any strong
emotion)? Other researchers suggest it is possible.
When growing up parents, teachers, and other adults told
me that the best way to quit using drugs is to never start. Now there is no way
that people will never get angry, however I suggest that it is possible to turn
anger into creative thought by…
1.
Being aware of one’s emotional state. Especially
when getting angry.
2.
Concentrate on the actual elements that brought
on the anger. What are their opposites?
3.
Would that action leave a more positive
emotional potential state?
Would that outcome create a win-win or a win-lose (the
latter would probably leave the other party seething)?
This is a deliberate exercise in moving from an emotional
deficit state to a surplus state. When some people get angry they may disengage
from the situation to “cool down.” However depending on the circumstances the
problem that moved them into the seething state may still be there, threatening
to plunge them back into that deficit state. I suggest that by reevaluating the
circumstances from the perspective of “if I could go back in time and relive
that moment, I would…” to seek a solution that can stop the emotional sacrifice
of the situation…if it gets that deep.
This could be why when some people are upset they need to
talk about it. They are not necessarily asking for help with a fix, they just
need to think out loud. There is a therapeutic element to this and I suggest
talking with someone whom you can trust to share the particulars of the
situation with.
Hopefully this will help raise awareness of what I call “The
Seething Syndrome” and keep it from taking up resident in our lives. When you
notice the downward spiral of negative emotions (like seething), what are some
of the ways you overcome such challenges?
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